i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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