He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize