have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize