Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
