so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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