Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
