I wanna passion pit in your ass
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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