Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
