I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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