she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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