i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Blood and glitter go together right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
