once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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