btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
