She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
