Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize