it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
