My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
