I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
