Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize