Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
