what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
