Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
