I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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