Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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