Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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