Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
