i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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