How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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