He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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