Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
