About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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