and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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