Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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