I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
