I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
