Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
