Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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