ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
