She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
