You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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