can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
