oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
