After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
