if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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