took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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