you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
