i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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