can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
