Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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