brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
