Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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