dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
