I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
