I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
