Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
