Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize