in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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