It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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