I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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