Nicole vs. Life
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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