Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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