I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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