Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
