There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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