He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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